Day 5 of A VCs biohacking journey: Tear of Joy which I missed, the energy sections of the day

Crying as Therapy: Exploring Daily Energy Shifts

It took me an inordinate amount of time to recognize the subtle yet indispensable force I had been neglecting — my own mental peace. This realization was neither sudden nor serendipitous; rather, it unfolded like a meticulously encrypted message, revealing itself only after persistent introspection. In the past blog, my focus had been on mitigating my sugar intake — a battle fought with a mix of fervor and frailty. But now, the spotlight has shifted to something more elusive, something that doesn’t spike or crash like blood sugar levels but ebbs and flows almost imperceptibly: my mental energy. In this blog i am gonna wlak though a surreal experience and another section i am gonna walk throuhg hwo throuhg deliberate observation, I’ve started dissecting the anatomy of my day, segment by segment, scrutinizing how my energy waxes and wanes.

What I feel I’ve uncovered is both fascinating and sobering: the energy deficits I experience aren’t merely physical — they’re tethered to my mental equilibrium. This invisible force, which I had once taken for granted, is the fulcrum upon which my productivity, creativity, and even my happiness balance precariously.

In my previous blog, I walked through the journey of my Ayyappan practice and the 41 days of rigorous vratham. This time, the narrative takes a turn toward an experience that felt nothing short of transcendental — a pooja celebration that brought together devotion, affirmation, and spiritual harmony. I also spoke about how my grandmother passing away came a hindrance in this joruney for me ,

It began with an unexpected yet profoundly humbling invitation from the Kutty swamy’s a friedn of son-in-law of guru Swamy Santhohs and Friend of GuruSwamy. Kutty swamy has been going to this practice from hsi 4th age and been super blessed with seeing Jyothi for many time . During the sacred time of mala, it is a privilege to convene fellow swamys for a pooja — a confluence of purpose, devotion, and shared faith. The event was imbued with a palpable sanctity, where bhajans, chants, and affirmations intertwined seamlessly, not in praise of one deity but in a symphony of universal spirituality.

The venue was in Pammal, along ECR — a serene yet vibrant locale that seemed to mirror the essence of the gathering. I received the call from kutty swamy, who Said Guruway presence can be seen in the the pooja. Though the hour was late, I embarked on the journey, reaching the house close to 11 p.m.

Upon arrival, I was enveloped by an atmosphere of pure positivity. The space teemed with bhaktas and swamys, their collective energy electrifying yet soothing. The chants resonated like an undercurrent of peace, binding every soul in an unspoken camaraderie.

The house itself radiated an ineffable charm, its walls echoing with songs of devotion and whispers of gratitude. Every corner seemed to hold the weight of prayer, every face alight with an inner glow. To stand amidst such fervor was a moment of rare privilege — a sanctified juncture that felt both humbling and uplifting.

This gathering wasn’t merely a celebration of thavam but a reaffirmation of the values it embodies — discipline, surrender, and unity. It reminded me that spirituality is not confined to rituals but is alive in the shared resonance of faith.

Another profound reason for attending the Pooja was to seek the acceptance of guru swamy to wear the mala once again. The permission of guru swamy holds an unparalleled sanctity, symbolizing both spiritual readiness and communal blessing. For me, it is an indispensable step — a bridge between intention and action, deeply rooted in respect and reverence for the traditions of vratham.

Though I dare not challenge the rules, the writtien intention nor deviate from them, I found myself yearning fervently to embark on the sacred journey to Sabarimala anothr time, not breaking the vow, I feel i am more conencted Saatha again . The desire to experience Dharma Sastha’s divine presence again is a relentless pull, a spiritual calling that echoes within me. To walk those hallowed paths, feel the resonance of devotion, and immerse myself in the grace of Ayyappa Swamy is a longing I carry with immense hope and humility.

The pooja traditionally begins with an invocation to Lord Ganesha, the remover of obstacles, setting a sanctified tone for the ceremony. This is followed by prayers to a pantheon of deities, including Lord Shiva, Lord Vishnu, Mohini, Goddess Lakshmi, Goddess Saraswati, and Lord Muruga. Each deity is venerated with heartfelt devotion, their divine presence evoked through chants and offerings. The prayers then transition seamlessly into Ayyappan songs, a central feature of the gathering.

These Ayyappan songs, often composed with simple yet profound lyrics, are easy to sing and resonate deeply with devotees. Their accessibility has made them immensely popular, weaving devotion into every heart present. The pooja culminates with the powerful chant of Saranam and the final Padi song, symbolizing surrender and reverence to Lord Ayyappa, leaving an indelible sense of spiritual fulfillment among the attendees.

The 18 padigal (steps) leading to the sanctum of Sabarimala are deeply symbolic, representing the culmination of a devotee’s spiritual journey. Each step is said to signify a victory over inner obstacles, such as desire, ego, and ignorance, guiding the pilgrim toward self-realization and devotion to Lord Ayyappa. Ascending these sacred steps is a moment of profound significance, requiring strict adherence to vratham and a pure heart.

The Padi song, sung at the conclusion of the pooja, pays homage to these 18 steps and their spiritual essence. Its lyrics echo the devotee’s journey, celebrating the path of discipline, faith, and surrender. As the chant fills the air, it evokes a collective sense of reverence and unity, encapsulating the spirit of the pilgrimage and the blessings of Dharma Sastha.

I was speaking with Balaji the previous day, and our conversation unearthed an unsettling thought — questioning my devotion feels like questioning my very essence. It took me back 13 years to a time when the mere act of prayer gave me goosebumps, a visceral sense of grace, and an inexplicable bliss that transcended material pursuits like wealth, knowledge, or recognition. Back then, devotion felt pure, unadulterated, and transformative, yet now it seems diluted, eclipsed by the pragmatism of daily life. While I find myself in a more comfortable position today, there’s a gnawing realization that my spiritual fervor needs recalibration — a leveling up of sorts. When was the last time I truly felt that sublime, uncontainable joy? Is spirituality in my relentless quest for productivity and biohacking? Perhaps, the absence of that transcendent connection is the intangible void I’ve been grappling with, a missing fragment in the intricate puzzle of holistic well-being.

During the Padi song, my mind became a cascade of thoughts, reflecting on how profoundly I missed being part of the sacred journey to Sabarimala. I pondered the value of this pilgrimage, the sanctity of the mala, the intoxicating aroma of sandalwood, the unwavering devotion, the serene mornings at the temple, and the arduous yet fulfilling trek along the Periyapathai. As the song reached the 14th padi and I sang along, an inexplicable wave of emotion surged through me. Tears began streaming down my face, unbidden and unstoppable, as if the depth of my longing and joy had found a release. It wasn’t sorrow but pure, unalloyed bliss — a moment where the intangible grace of devotion transcended every other sensation.

I could feel myself just two steps behind the familiar rush of goosebumps — blessings were undoubtedly present. In that moment, I reaffirmed my vow to dedicate my success to Dharma Sastha and my life to his grace. After the pooja, I spoke with guru swamy, who, in his wisdom, granted me permission to wear the mala after the 21st and embark on a follow-up journey in February to reclaim the sanctity of the 41-day vratham. This approval felt like a divine nod, rekindling my devotion and commitment to the path of spiritual discipline.

As I left the gathering, the chants still lingering in my ears, I carried with me not just memories but an intangible sense of connection — an invisible thread that binds us all in the unison of spirit.

After the incident during the Padi song, I found myself curious about why humans cry and what happens during the process. My tears had flowed so freely, seemingly carrying an unspoken depth of emotion, and I needed to understand why this phenomenon felt so profound. So, I dived into research to decode the science behind crying, only to discover its multifaceted nature.

Humans cry for a myriad of reasons. Emotional crying, like mine during the Padi song, is often triggered by intense emotions — joy, sadness, anger, or even relief. It serves as a natural form of emotional regulation, releasing pent-up feelings and creating a sense of balance. Scientifically, it’s fascinating to learn that emotional tears carry stress hormones like cortisol. By shedding these tears, we might actually be physically releasing stress, paving the way for emotional clarity and relief.

Crying also activates the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which calms the body after stress, moving it out of the “fight or flight” mode. This activation may explain why I felt a wave of serenity amidst my tears. Furthermore, crying stimulates the release of oxytocin and endorphins — often called the “love hormone” and natural painkillers — which enhance our well-being and counteract the effects of stress.

Interestingly, tears also have a social function. They signal vulnerability and foster empathy, helping us connect with others. Reflecting on my moment, I realized how those tears silently communicated a profound need for spiritual connection and renewal. And while emotional crying can sometimes result in only a few tears, these too hold meaning, indicating subtle yet impactful emotional processing.

Physically, the hypothalamus in our central nervous system processes emotions and triggers the lacrimal glands to produce tears. When combined with physical symptoms like an increased heart rate or goosebumps, crying becomes a full-body experience, as it did for me during the Padi song. This revelation made me appreciate the intricate interplay of mind, body, and spirit in moments of emotional release.

In hindsight, my tears weren’t just an emotional outpouring but a confluence of physiological and psychological responses. They reminded me that even in my biohacking journey, I cannot ignore the spiritual and emotional dimensions that define human existence.

As part of my 100-day biohacking journey, I pledged to integrate Japa meditation and affirmations into my daily routine. This commitment revolves around working harder, staying focused, channeling my energy, and optimizing my food and sleep habits. The prayer goes hand in hand with this practice, providing spiritual grounding throughout the process.

Tracking the effects of these practices on my daily productivity has become a key focus. I’m implementing insights from Make Time by Jake Knapp and John Zeratsky, particularly their approach to why focus time is essential. The first step is to set a single, clear intention for the day. This focus, which I dedicate 60–90 minutes to, shapes my productivity and sets the tone for everything that follows. It’s not the only task, but it’s undoubtedly the most important. To maintain this laser focus, I’ve created real barriers around distractions — removing social apps from my phone. This is not about isolating myself from the world, but rather preventing myself from mindlessly scrolling. The login screen on these apps now serves as a gentle reminder of my purpose.

Additionally, I’ve embraced a more primal lifestyle to boost both my physical and mental energy. In a world that often has us tethered to screens, I aim to align with the natural rhythms of our bodies. Moving, eating clean food, and minimizing sugar have become integral parts of my daily routine.

Through my biohacking journey, I’ve identified when my focus is at its peak and when my energy dips. Awareness is key — recognizing these patterns allows me to optimize my day. Below is the structure I’ve fine-tuned to match my energy levels, maximize productivity, and ensure balanced time for health, family, and self-care:

My daily schedule is carefully designed to optimize productivity while maintaining a holistic sense of well-being. I start my day early, waking up at 4:00 AM to ensure I get enough rest. From 4:30 AM to 5:00 AM, I dedicate myself to high-productivity work, when my mind is clear and fresh. The following half-hour is a flexible slot, allowing me to adjust based on my energy or tasks that require attention. I keep this flow flexible until 6:30 AM, when I focus on my health, engaging in activities that energize my body and mind.

After a brief health session, I prioritize physical well-being by incorporating a workout and mindfulness practice from 7:30 AM to 8:00 AM. This is followed by a solid chunk of family time from 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM, a time when I connect deeply with loved ones. During this period, I am present, giving my full attention to them.

As the day progresses, I reserve some self-time for personal reflection or light, non-productive activities from 10:30 AM to 11:00 AM. Afterward, I transition into semi-productive meetings from 12:00 PM until 3:00 PM, a time when I handle work-related tasks or connect with colleagues. Following these sessions, I take another health break at 3:00 PM, followed by more family time from 3:30 PM to 4:30 PM.

In the late afternoon, I dive back into high-productivity work from 4:30 PM to 6:00 PM. This period is where I push myself to complete critical tasks, harnessing my remaining energy. The evening is reserved again for family time, with intervals of quality interaction from 6:00 PM to 9:00 PM, when I begin to wind down.

Finally, my day ends with a restful routine, incorporating sleep and health practices from 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM. This structured approach helps me stay aligned with my goals, while also nurturing the relationships and personal well-being that keep me grounded. The balance between focused work, health, and family time is central to my productivity, and tracking this schedule allows me to better understand my natural rhythms, making each day more effective and fulfilling.

While this structure is what I’ve found to work best for now, I recognize that life is dynamic, and flexibility is key. As I continue this journey, I may adjust the schedule to better suit my evolving needs, energy levels, and priorities. The goal is to stay optimistic and open to change, always striving for a balance that supports both my productivity and well-being. The process is fluid, and I’m ready to adapt as I learn more about what works best for me in the long run.